I just finished Kristin Contino‘s A House Full of Windsor and it will undoubtedly be made into one of those epic rom-coms that we crank the crockpot up for and celebrate via bottomless mimosas and pajamas with feet.
The fictional tale is wild and features a cast full of characters including reality tv personalities, Princess Diana, and Bollywood stars. The book bounces between the real-life doomed marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana and an imaginary modern family. Lots of Twitter and Instagram references, HOARDING, and kisses… thankfully… no masks or rona. It was simply a great escape.
Sarah is the career-driven daughter of a hoarder who is obsessed with royal family memorabilia. Her mother, Debbie, can barely navigate around her home after decades of collecting royal relics. The 60 something grandmother has resorted to sleeping on the sofa as her bed has become a safe space for her collectibles.
It takes a reality tv show to whip Debbie into shape. Pierce Thompson, the host of Stuff, is certifiably my favorite character. Think Ty Pennington circa 2000 minus the soul patch with a little bit of Matthew McConaughey. He’s a reality tv host and carpenter. Jesus was a carpenter. It’s never mentioned but I bet Pierce loves dogs too. Pierce Thompson is the perfect man.
This is a love story with tons of tiny royal references that monarchy maniacs will eat up. It’s uplifting and fun. A quick read. I highly recommend A House Full of Windsor.
Constructed better than any Hallmark movie could… here is who I would cast in Kristin Contino’s A House Full of Windsor.
Sarah Percy – Debbie’s oldest daughter. Lifestyle Expert and Morning News Personality. Stressed at work. Has it all together even when she doesn’t. Described as blonde and petite. KINSEY NOMINATES – AnnaSophia Robb. Why? Mostly because she’s perfect and we’ve seen her display Sarah’s anxiety and pursuit of perfection as a young Carrie Bradshaw.
Pierce Thompson – Described as tall, handsome, and southern. KINSEY NOMINATES – Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. Glen Powell. My body is ready. Glen Powell. Actually southern. The most handsome man on the planet. Super funny. He responded to me on Twitter once.
Debbie Windsor Today – American. Mom to Sarah, William, and Anne. Hoarder. Works as a school administrator. Addicted to Earl Grey, lint rollers, and the royals. KINSEY NOMINATES – Margo Martindale. She’s just the cutest and I’m loving her in Impeachment: American Crime Story.
Young Debbie Windsor – American. Free spirit. Loves the royal family. Doesn’t want to go home. Can’t hold her booze and leaves the tags on her TOPSHOP to ensure a seamless return. KINSEY NOMINATES – Phoebe Dynevor. Honorable mention: Ellie Kemper.
William Percy – Twin. Sarah’s little brother. Commitment-phobe. Career driven. New York networker. Works behind the scenes in tv production. Momma’s boy. Juggles more than one cellphone without a beat. KINSEY NOMINATES – Nico Tortorella.
Anne Percy – Twin. Sarah’s little sister. Image is everything. Does not have a filter. Will likely hurt your feelings. Young, married mother within an affluent, well-respected family. Lives in suburbia close to Debbie. HBIC of local Mom clubs. KINSEY NOMINATES – Kiernan Shipka.
Alan Percy Today – British. Sarah, Anne, and William’s Dad. Debbie’s ex-husband and first true love. Has family money but also a successful nightclub business. Runs a beautiful estate that some of the story takes place in. KINSEY NOMINATES – Pierce Brosnan. OG Daddy.
Young Alan Percy – British. Not a wanker. Gentleman. Romantic. Handsome. Likely intoxicated. Wealthy. Boyfriend and eventual husband to Debbie. KINSEY NOMINATES – Max Irons. Call me.